Todd writes,
Dr. Max, Louise and I have been married for 12 years. I love my wife but sex is not high on her priority agenda to say the least. I wondered about our compatibility in this area right up to our marriage, but I thought maybe she’d be more interested after we married. Every other area of our marriage is great, but in the area of sex we have a problem, because she clearly just does it out of duty and I feel like it’s only for me and never for her. I’m very frustrated, what can I do?
Todd, I understand your frustration and I have advice for you and a warning. The warning is to be very very careful of any advice you get in this area. You are very liable to get people telling you things like “this is a female problem” or that there’s something wrong with either you or Louise. The current buzzword going around some circles is that men who are interested in having regular sex with their wives are somehow “addicted to sex.” There is such a thing but it’s way overused as a term as are the ususual stereotypes about women in marriage and how their sex drive goes away as soon as they are married, etc. etc.
What I’m guessing you’ve never really done is try to truly understand either what this as you call it “incompatibility” means in your marriage and what it is “based on.”
Without knowing you at all I can imagine that there is a difference in your Marriage Blueprints (TM) which are in conflict in some way. If you can indeed get an understanding of which MB’s you hold and operate out of and the same with your wife, you can both reach a much deeper level of intimacy and have the possibility for a unique kind of passion that only comes from this kind of true understanding… and you will both be able to creatively solve this issue rather than feeling confused and frustrated.
I teach Marriage Blueprints in my book “You Don’t Have to Change Who You Are To Have a Great Marriage” available at any bookstore and at Amazon.com, but to get a true understanding and teaching by the inventor of the MB’s (me) I’d really recommend you consider Marriage counseling.
You claim that “everything else in yoiur marriage is great,” but confidentially between you and me I doubt that because the area of sexuality carries so much meaning and importance that it’s bound to overflow into other areas of your life together.
we will give you more explanation by consulting how to save the marriage.
Dr. Max, Louise and I have been married for 12 years. I love my wife but sex is not high on her priority agenda to say the least. I wondered about our compatibility in this area right up to our marriage, but I thought maybe she’d be more interested after we married. Every other area of our marriage is great, but in the area of sex we have a problem, because she clearly just does it out of duty and I feel like it’s only for me and never for her. I’m very frustrated, what can I do?
Todd, I understand your frustration and I have advice for you and a warning. The warning is to be very very careful of any advice you get in this area. You are very liable to get people telling you things like “this is a female problem” or that there’s something wrong with either you or Louise. The current buzzword going around some circles is that men who are interested in having regular sex with their wives are somehow “addicted to sex.” There is such a thing but it’s way overused as a term as are the ususual stereotypes about women in marriage and how their sex drive goes away as soon as they are married, etc. etc.
What I’m guessing you’ve never really done is try to truly understand either what this as you call it “incompatibility” means in your marriage and what it is “based on.”
Without knowing you at all I can imagine that there is a difference in your Marriage Blueprints (TM) which are in conflict in some way. If you can indeed get an understanding of which MB’s you hold and operate out of and the same with your wife, you can both reach a much deeper level of intimacy and have the possibility for a unique kind of passion that only comes from this kind of true understanding… and you will both be able to creatively solve this issue rather than feeling confused and frustrated.
I teach Marriage Blueprints in my book “You Don’t Have to Change Who You Are To Have a Great Marriage” available at any bookstore and at Amazon.com, but to get a true understanding and teaching by the inventor of the MB’s (me) I’d really recommend you consider Marriage counseling.
You claim that “everything else in yoiur marriage is great,” but confidentially between you and me I doubt that because the area of sexuality carries so much meaning and importance that it’s bound to overflow into other areas of your life together.
we will give you more explanation by consulting how to save the marriage.
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